I am a collection of lost days and bad dreams, a tour of nightmares and things that haven't come yet. I tend to overthink on a daily basis. there is simply no day I don't overthink about my life and my next step. It takes a lot to be a over thinker and yet look like someone who just don't give a damn about the following morning. Yet that's me, plain and simple. as a Writer and yes I write with an uppercase on purpose. I write more in my mind than in the paper or the keyboard. I reflect my desperation, dreams, demise on words and most of the time, throw it away.
I like to listen to music every now and then when i write because i find stories written in the music, or even better I find my own tales hidden inside other people music. weird enough for me, but not for the rest I guess. Yes, I also think about what people think of me, and what I reflect. Again its hard to act so careless, while caring too much.
Every time I start to think about how I picture my last days or my own dead realm. I remember the last scene of Evangelion. Sat on a chair, while I hear people i care about talking about me, about themselves... speaking my own ideas and troubles through their voices. I felt the same way that poor lonely boy feels throughout the series. I want to be recognized, yet I always act opposite to what they want me to do. I want to be accepted, yet I always end up running and closing myself. I'd love to be loved, then I fear to hurt and to be hurt.
I guess I am pretty average regarding to my writing mind.
